Goatmoose

This post will update as I earn the achievements in-game. Some achievements require no further explanation or strategy – but ones that do will have some tips/info listed below them. If you’ve completed one that I haven’t and would like to add your strategy, post it in the comments and I will add it to the list. Thanks, and good luck!

PRICE CHOPPER 20
Survive the Dead Center campaign.
This achievement is easily attainable by finishing the campaign on any difficulty setting.

MIDNIGHT RIDER 20
Survive the Dark Carnival campaign.
This achievement is easily attainable by finishing the campaign on any difficulty setting.

RAGIN’ CAJUN 20
Survive the Swamp Fever campaign.
This achievement is easily attainable by finishing the campaign on any difficulty setting.

WEATHERMAN 20
Survive the Hard Rain campaign.
This achievement is easily attainable by finishing the campaign on any difficulty setting.

BRIDGE BURNER 20
Survive the Parish campaign.
This achievement is easily attainable by finishing the campaign on any difficulty setting.

STILL SOMETHING TO PROVE 35
Survive all campaigns on Expert.

THE REAL DEAL 35
Survive a campaign on Expert skill with Realism mode enabled.

CONFEDERACY OF CRUNCHES 30
Finish a campaign using only melee weapons.
Those who want to complete this quickly will try it on Easy difficulty. Dead Center is a good place to try it, since it only has four stages. Just keep swinging those melee weapons. Be careful that if you get incapacitated you stop attacking or you’ll end up firing an accidental shot with your pistols while on the ground.

HEAD HONCHO 15
Decapitate 200 Infected with a melee weapon.
For this, your best bet is to grab a ninja sword or an axe and play your way through a scene using it as your sole weapon. Turn difficulty to easy if you are dying too much. Or, just be patient and eventually you will unlock this through normal play if you play enough.

CLUB DEAD 15
Use every melee weapon to kill Common Infected.
This one is easy and will likely happen naturally as you play through each scenario. The weapons you need to use are: frying pan, katana, machete, nightstick, chainsaw, axe, crowbar, paddle bat.

CHAIN OF COMMAND 15
Kill 100 Common Infected with the chainsaw.
As it says – kill 100 zombies with a chainsaw. You’ll have to go through several chainsaws to do so, as each one only allows you to kill a certain number of zombies with it.

TANK BURGER 30
Kill a Tank with melee weapons.
Team up with humans for this one. The AI will almost always shoot the tank, and 100% of the damage has to come from melee weapons. If you don’t have four humans, kill the AI before trying this so you and your human pal can melee the beast. Attempting this at the Concert in Dark Carnival or the City Streets during Dead Center are good options, as the tank usually spawns near the beginning of both areas. Just take it down with only melee hits and it’ll unlock.

SHOCK JOCK 30
Revive 10 dead Survivors with the defibrillator.
This will either come as you play, or you can mess with the system. The stage in Hard Rain where you return to the town always spawns a defib unit in the safe room. Have someone go out into the area, get killed, then go out and defib them back to life. You’ll then have to leave the game entirely (back to main menu) if you want it to count in your achievement list. Simply dying yourself and restarting will erase the action.

THE QUICK AND THE DEAD 30
Revive 10 incapacitated Survivors while under the speed-boosting effects of adrenaline.
The best strategy here is to keep an adrenaline shot on you at all times. When you see a teammate go down, stab yourself and go save them right away. Or, follow a similar procedure as in the Shock Jock achievement. Adrenaline shots often spawn in that same room, so you can always save a buddy with an adrenaline shot before letting them get incapped again and defibbing them back to life.

ARMORY OF ONE 15
Deploy an ammo upgrade and have your team use it.
One of the easiest achievements in the game, especially in solo player. In many areas, there are ammo upgrades (incendiary bullets, frag bullets) that you can find and lay back down. Doing so will make everyone in your team pick them up, giving you the achievement. If using this with other live humans in multiplayer, ensure they all grab the ammo.

BURNING SENSATION 15
Ignite 50 Common Infected with incendiary ammo.
Use the above tactic to equip your gun with incendiary ammo and start shooting. One place this can be often found is before the roller coaster in Dark Carnival. It’s also common during Dead Center.

DISMEMBERMENT PLAN 20
Kill 15 Infected with a single grenade launcher blast.
The best time to do this is when a horde is coming. Or, if you are in a crowded area, throw a pipe bomb and then grenade launch at the zombies gathered around the bomb before it explodes. Or, toss a bile bomb then blast the horde with the grenade launcher.

SEPTIC TANK 15
Use a bile bomb on a Tank.
You may take a hit, but it’s easy enough to chuck a bile bomb at a Tank before it hits you. Let it run your way and toss it on.

CRASS MENAGERIE 20
Kill one of each Uncommon Infected.
Another achievement that will unlock naturally as you play through each scenario. You’ll have to kill a CEDA Worker (Hazmat Suit) in Dead Center, a Mud Man in Swamp Fever, a Riot cop in The Parish, a clown in Dark Carnival and a construction worker in Hard Rain.

DEAD IN THE WATER 20
Kill 10 swampy Mudmen while they are in the water.
All the uncommon infected Mudmen come from the swamp water, so you just have to shoot 10 of them before they leave the water. No special tactic, just be quick. Try the sniper rifle so you can shoot them before they leave the water.

ROBBED ZOMBIE 15
Collect 10 vials of Boomer vomit from infected CEDA agents you have killed.
This will likely take a few plays through the scenario, but many CEDA uncommon infected drop boomer bile in Dead Center. Pick them up. There are more CEDA people during the first two stages than the latter two, so playing through the hotel and streets over and over should net you this pretty quickly.

CL0WND 15
Honk the noses of 10 Clowns.
Easy enough to do, melee 10 clowns in the face with your gun. You’ll hear their nose honk. It’s charming.

FRIED PIPER 15
Using a Molotov, burn a Clown leading at least 10 Common Infected.
A good time to do this is when the hordes are after you when you start the merry-go-round. As soon as you see a clown within a bunch of other zombies, chuck the molotov. You’re almost guaranteed to burn 10 zombies throwing a molotov into a crowd, so it’ll unlock.

LEVEL A CHARGE 15
Kill a Charger with a melee weapon while they are charging.

ACID REFLEX 15
Kill a Spitter before she is able to spit.
Just shoot it fast.

A RIDE DENIED 15
Kill a Jockey within 2 seconds of it jumping on a Survivor.
Again, just shoot it fast.

STACHE WHACKER 15
Prove you are faster than Moustachio.
In section four of Dark Carnival, there is a whack-a-mole game you can play where you shoot Moustachios as they pop up. Get a score of 42 to unlock the achievement. You won’t get it on one round, but you can keep continuing and your score will be aggregate.

GONG SHOW 15
Prove you are stronger than Moustachio.
Also in section four of Dark Carnival, just a few seconds after you leave the safe room at the start, is a hammer strength game where you hit the platform and ring the bell. Grab an adrenaline shot and any melee weapon. Use the shot and slam the thing to ring the bell, giving yourself 15 points. There is often an adrenaline shot in the tent prior to the game.

GUARDIN’ GNOME 30
Rescue Gnome Chompski from the Carnival.
In the second section of Dark Carnival, there is a target shooting range game. Start it up and get a score of 750 or more before the time runs out and you’ll be awarded a garden gnome as a prize. He comes out of a little prize box on the left of the game. You then have to keep him in your possession all the way through the end of the Dark Carnival story. You can drop him and shoot, but you must pick him back up and carry him the rest of the way. If you die at any point, it’s okay, because he’ll be in the safe room on the floor somewhere when you restart.
This is a challenging achievement. Playing on easy makes it easier, but the fact you won’t be able to shoot much of the time makes it tough. You can melee with the gnome, but it doesn’t do much damage and takes a good 5 hits to kill a zombie, so it’s more for knocking them out of the way while your pals gun them down.

WING AND A PRAYER 30
Defend yourself at the crashed airliner without taking damage.

SOB STORY 30
Navigate the sugar mill and reach the safe room without killing any Witches.
There are a good dozen witches after the sugar mill. You just have to get to the gas station without pissing them off. It’s not that hard – just run past them and don’t look back.

VIOLENCE IN SILENCE 30
Navigate the impound lot and reach the cemetery safe room without tripping any alarms.
Move through the field with tons of alarm cars without setting any off. It’s not hard – just run through and get to the other side, then worry about the zombies from a safe angle when you get there.

BRIDGE OVER TREBLED SLAUGHTER 30
Cross the bridge finale in less than three minutes.
Stay on the left-hand side of the bridge, keep a pipe bomb on hand for when it’s most needed, and avoid the tank. Beyond that, just run your ass off and hope for the best. If someone has a better strategy, please tell me.

HEARTWARMER 20
In a Versus round, leave the saferoom to defibrillate a dead teammate.

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS 15
Form a team and beat an enemy team in 4v4 Versus or Scavenge.

QUALIFIED RIDE 15
As the Jockey, ride a Survivor for more than 12 seconds.
This isn’t terribly hard if you can nab someone while they’re separated from the rest of the group. Look for that one lone player who doesn’t mind going off on their own. I got it up on top of the bridge in the hotel map, while the rest of the team was way over in a room on the other end. It was more like 25 seconds before anyone came and pulled me off.

BACK IN THE SADDLE 15
As the Jockey, ride the Survivors twice in a single life.
Lots of people get jockeys off of you by performing a melee hit instead of shooting. If you get meleed off, get to safety as fast as you can and you’ll be able to jump someone for a second ride.

RODE HARD, PUT AWAY WET 20
As the Jockey, ride a Survivor and steer them into a Spitter’s acid patch.
Easy to execute if you and another human are playing as infected. Just time your actions.

GREAT EXPECTORATIONS 15
As the Spitter, hit every Survivor with a single acid patch.

A SPITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS 15
As the Spitter, spit on a Survivor being choked by a Smoker.
Easy to execute if you and another human are playing as infected. Just time your actions.

SCATTERING RAM 20
As the Charger, bowl through the entire enemy team in a single charge.
One good place to try this – in the Motel map during Scavenge – when the team goes for the gas can in the back left corner. There’s the one that’s all alone in the busted hotel room by the stairs. If the whole team stays together, the little hallway before that room is a great place to find them all standing together, easily crushed. Also, in the Dead Center finale, there’s that gas can in the corner to the rear left of the race car where you can easily hit the whole team.

MEAT TENDERIZER 20
As the Charger, grab a Survivor and smash them into the ground for a solid 15 seconds.
Just as with Qualified Ride, this isn’t that hard if you can just get someone alone. Find someone in an area near no other players and hammer away.

LONG DISTANCE CARRIER 15
As the Charger, grab a Survivor and carry them over 80 feet.
If you charge someone, you’re going to run with them until you hit something. Simply charge them when you’ve got a good distance til you hit a wall. The motel parking lot is a good place for this. 80 feet isn’t all that long.

BEAT THE RUSH 15
In a Survival round, get a medal only using melee weapons.
For this, you have to survive 4:00 to get the bronze medal, and only use melee weapons during that time. I achieved this on my first attempt by hiding in the small room behind the gas can in the back left corner behind the race car in Dead Center. I was playing alone. The AI teammates stood at the door to the little room and killed most everything while I stayed crouched up against the wall behind them. When one went down, I helped them up, and when a tank came I gave it a few hits with the Katana to assist – and it stayed concentrated on killing the AI. I ended up lasting 4:58 and getting the achievement.

HUNTING PARTY 15
Win a game of Scavenge.
Just do it.

GAS GUZZLER 20
Collect 100 gas cans in Scavenge.
Keep playing until you have collected 100 – no magic here.

CACHE AND CARRY 20
Collect 15 gas cans in a single Scavenge round.
The difficulty of this achievement all depends on the skill of your team and the skill of your opposing team. It’s very doable – I recommend the hotel map.

SCAVENGE HUNT 15
Stop the enemy team from collecting any gas cans during a Scavenge round.
Take out the entire enemy team before they can get any cans poured. I’ve seen it happen several times, both on the hotel and swamp maps.

FUEL CRISIS 15
Make a Survivor drop a gas can during overtime.
In scavenge, if the time runs out and one player on the offensive team is holding a gas can, the game won’t end until that player either pours it in the tank, or an infected traps them and makes them drop it. Be the infected.

GAS SHORTAGE 20
Cause 25 gas can drops as a Special Infected.
And then do it 25 times!