Goatmoose

A month or two ago, or maybe three or four, I did a post called “The Mysteries of Craigslist’s “Free Stuff” Category.” Recently, I’ve had some people asking for a sequel. Though I promised one of these people in particular a new entry several weeks ago, I just remembered that promise. Cut me some slack. Here you go.

If only you lived in the grand city of Pittsburgh, PA, these free items could be yours. They may be horrible and they may not make any sense, but that’s the beauty of craigslist.

9 Fellows plastic folders sized to hold two 5 1/4″ floppy disks
Clearly these folders are so old that they were made when 5 1/4″ floppy disks were popular. This means they are complete trash.

I have a bag of about 13 empty pill bottles, the orange kind that you get at the pharmacy. Most of the labels are already taken off. They are the shorter small and medium ones, no tall ones.
Are there any legitimate reasons someone would want these?

FREE – THREE SHELF PLASIC BLACK DESK ORGANIZER…HAS BEEN USED, BUT, HOPING THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN MAKE USE OUT OF IT…
The best part of this ad is that it’s been posted 3 times in the past two weeks. Someone is hanging onto this $4 plastic desk organizer with a lot of hope instead of throwing it out.

I have a coupon for Merrick Dry Dog food that I cannot use. Would like to donate this to someone who really needs dry dog food, although it would be good if the dog is already used to this food. Thanks.
Really? A coupon? I have a whole newspaper worth of coupons every Sunday. It goes straight in the trash can. If anyone wants to root through the dumpster outside my building for them, there’s about $100 worth of savings every Sunday. Would like to donate this to someone who really enjoys digging through trash, although it would be good if they already smelled like old onions.

TWO TARGET SIZE BAGS OF ADULT DIAPERS THAT ARE OPENED (THEY HAVE THE SIDE TAPES NOT PULLUPS)
Target size bags? What the hell does that mean? And why are they opened? Did you stop shitting yourself?

FOR THOSE POKEMON LOVERS…MY SON NO LONGER WANTS HIS BOOK…HE IS GIVING AWAY A POKEMON SINNOH HANDBOOK….
IT IS IN PERFECT CONDITION – NO RIPS, TEARS, OR WRITINGS…HE JUST WANTS SOMEONE ELSE TO USE IT LIKE HE DID…JUST DOESN’T HAVE AN INTEREST IN POKEMON ANYMORE.
All caps. This book must be serious. Too bad nobody has an interest in Pokemon anymore.

And from that same person…
FREE BLUE JUMBO SEAT IN GREAT CONDITION – MY BABIES ARE TOO BIG FOR IT NOW…PLEASE EMAIL FOR TIME/DAY FOR PICKUP.
I don’t care if it’s free and times are tough. You can guarantee babies pooped on that thing.

Sofa carpet lamp mirror – now gone. it was easiest to call people who sent their phone number
What’s a sofa carpet lamp mirror?

VHS of Vampire in Brooklyn starring Eddie Murphy and Angela Bassett. Porch pick up.
Imagine the sight of someone picking up a VHS tape of Vampire in Brooklyn off of someone’s porch. That’s amazing.

I HAVE ONE OPEN BOX OF BABY OATMEAL, MY SON DOES NOT LIKE IT, AND IF SOMEONE NEEDS IT I WOULD HATE TO THROW IT AWAY, IT IS GERBER AND IS A LARGE BOX, PLEASE PICK UP IF YOU NEED, LOOKING TO HELP THOSE NOT ON FOOD STAMPS OR WIC!!
So you only want to donate it to people who can afford to buy their own oatmeal…?

silky twin bed sheets – silky smooth only one pillow case
I can think of little that I would want less than someone’s used bed sheets. Especially twin size.

free gold formal dress size 5/6 minor wear
Nothing is classier than a formal dress being modeled over a giant red flannel something.

over 30 different glasses whiskey/wine/shot/ i didnt wash
I’m too busy being an alcoholic to clean the damn things.

There you have it folks. Happy new year. If you picked up those whiskey glasses for your holiday party, be safe.