Here’s a list and a brief reason why I think each one is the cat’s flannels:

Leona Lewis – She is one of the very, very few people on Top 40 stations that don’t make me want to insert a rusty set of hedgeclippers into my anus. Ridiculously good voice. One of the strongest singers I’ve heard in many merry moons. And being English never hurts…

Kate Nash – This silly human being writes songs that sound swell, are original as all sin and make me giggle all at once. And being English never hurts…

Mirah – Her tunes come in a variety of styles and incorporate instruments like bagpipes and accordions. If you can use an accordion and sound awesome, you my friend, are awesome by default. Naturally she’s unusual and quirky, so that gets my vote immediately.

Paramore – Actually, just Hayley Williams. Who the hell cares about the rest of the band? While just the entire band is average and replaceable, the little Tennessee girl with a crazy colored head that provides the vocals is pure superduper. And come on, she’s one of Miley Cyrus’s best friends. Or maybe that doesn’t help her case…

Kimya Dawson – Part Moldy Peach, part anti-folk kook, her songs are plain strange. Her knuckles read LAFF LOUD, and her child is named Panda. Seems like satisfactory definitions of character. Honestly, she has a childrens’ album with the song “Pee Pee in the Potty.” Nuff said.

Adele – I didn’t even know anyone else knew she existed til the Grammys. Turns out everyone does. Well, that’s just fine. Everyone should. Her song “Hometown Glory” makes me pee myself a little, and the fact she wrote it at age 16 makes it perfectly fine to admit that. And being English never hurts…

Lady GaGa – This one I do hate to admit… but DAMN this stuff is catchy. And beneath her you-have-no-idea-what-I-really-look-like appearance, weird glasses, wacky hair and enormous rock candy microphone, she really can sing. Pokerface is an appropriate title, because it describes my face when I attempt to not show how much I enjoy the song.

MIA – I knew about her back with “Bucky Done Gun,” but primarily liked it because it was annoying. Now I actually like what she’s doing. Though you knew that from the earlier Slumdog post, in which she played a part.

The Veronicas – Neither are named Veronica. They are from the continent that pretends to be England. And by God, they are so untouched.

Kate Voegele – She might have been 2007, but who’s counting? “Kindly Unspoken” is a fantastic track, and I like to pretend I can play it on the guitar. She’s got a great sound, and nobody can deny the power of a girl behind a piano.

Are there more than this? Absolutely positively. However, I’m writing from memory, and me doing such a thing is never reliable. So that’s all you get.

It all started when someone re-tweeted this original tweet, implying that despite popular beliefs, society’s wishes, and God’s good graces, you are still rolling around the earth with an entourage:

Just landed in Utah… Had to get the dancers through and around an ice storm. Close call …almost got stuck in Madison! But we here !!!

Really, Hammer? We here? Wisconsin to Utah? That’s high life mang, for rizz. This was enough to bring me to your Twitter page. It only got worse.

Last time I saw you, your shit was being towed away in a Nationwide commercial. I pretty much assumed that was just real life footage of recent events. Today, I was thoroughly corrected. Apparently life comes at me fast.

Not only have you been tearing up the streets of Utah with your crew, but selling all your remaining earthly possessions to Cash 4 Gold hooked you up with enough ends to support your nightly activities that spawned the following tweet:

Bowling with my dancers !!! They was raw tonite!! Off the Chain! http://twitpic.com/1px42

Really, Hammer? Bowling? With dancers? Raw? Chains? What the hellfire and damnation kind of talk is that? You went BOWLING! The adjective ‘raw’ has never, could never, and will never be associated with the sport of bowling in any conceivable way. Unless you were talking about the lesion on your foot from the rental shoe – but seriously, Hammer, you’ve got to think of how many people have worn those shoes over the years. The Lysol cleanse is really quite insufficient.

Hippie Love Baby ! http://twitpic.com/1qe5c

What can I say, I almost couldn’t even continue to believe this Twitter page was serious after seeing the above. Especially when under the picture were the user comments including “Youse back on top Hammer!!!” and “That looks awesome MC! You got to be in front of a humongous TV, Right?” What!? People, for real, what?! In the words of David After Dentist, “Is this real life?” Are they serious? Is he serious? I can’t see anything.

I guess to sum it all up, I should leave you with the Hammer Tweet that brings an unfortunate haze of cumulonimbus darkness over my soul. The tweet that identifies the suffering mankind is to endure years in the future…

My Son with me….hitting the stage.. He tight… http://twitpic.com/1p5y1

First of all, MC, saying your son is tight… I know it’s great and fresh slang, but for reezy…

Second of all, MC… omg. I can only hope and pray he’s as off the chain at the gangsta sport of bowling as you.

Get buck.

This morning, I was given the opportunity to listen to the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. By “this morning,” I actually mean several days ago, but didn’t remember that right away. Anyway, I admittedly know very little about this movie aside from it being an award-dominating Danny Boyle piece that doesn’t involve overdosing on heroin or zombies. Despite all its acclaim, I had yet to showcase any real desire to see the thing, and don’t know anyone who has. Of course, I hardly know anyone at all in the first place, but that’s another point entirely..

The point is, kids, that the soundtrack is totally tubular. Out of nowhere, I found myself listening to it, completely and instantly obsessed with every funkadelic track. Kicking straight into goodness with the first song, “O… Saya,” I got blown away by the masterful combinations of modern beats, trance/industrial sounds, and cultural Indian influences. The whole album is full of these unique sound hybrids, and one minute into the album you know you’re in for something different.

I must say, at least over the past several years, I have to commend the Academy for their choices for Best Original Song/Score. AR Rahman took home both awards this year. Last year we had the beautiful Glenn Hansard & Marketa Irglova duet from Once, and prior to that was the admittedly shocking Terrence Howard performance of “Hard Out Here For a Pimp.” I am glad the movie industry’s award winners haven’t fallen victim to the terrible garbage that comprises the Top 40 and dominates modern radio.

For real, this Slumdog Soundtrack is the boss’s boss. The remix of M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” is arguably better than the original. The creepy cool “Liquid Dance” is now one of my new favorite songs, and I hope I can see some funky Wade Robson-esque dance choreographed to it in the near future. The annoyingly catchy “Ringa Ringa” lets you know by its title that it is very Indian, and is the most straightforward Indian sounding track on the disc – though thankfully absent of Daler Mendhi doing any form of Tunak Tunak finger dance in a creepy sorcerer outfit. It is the closest track to what you’d typically think of when Indian music comes to mind… and cooler than a whole jar full of bees and their combined total knees.

“Latika’s Theme” is a soft transition between two heavier tunes that contains a beautiful vocal. Listen to it while you sit under a tree in the spring, eating a peach. Then get up and boogie the hell out of your silk kurtas with “Mausam & Escape,” a tune that combines a wildly awesome Indian sitar with dirty, intense electronic sounds to produce a sound like no other.

“Jai Ho,” the closing song, is apparently the most popular of the album thanks to that dance sequence with 80 billion people in it that’s seemingly become famous. I’ve seen it several times and can’t imagine how it correlates to the movie, but I look forward to finding out.

You want to know how much I liked this CD in one sentence? Here it is: I paid for it. Seriously. With money. Like people did back in 1997.

The only song I don’t like is “Gangsta Blues.” Lame title, lame song. It’s basically every stereotypical R&B thing put into one song, rapped/sung by non-black folks. Kind of weird.

Nonetheless, it is now time to see this movie. If it’s half as good as its music, it deserved the awards.